There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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