yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
