He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
