is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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