Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your penis caused this!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
