Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
