I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
