i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
