I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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