i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is the high leading the old right now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
