I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
