Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
