is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
