Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
