It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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