So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
