Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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