I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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