so explain again why im purple
no
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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