D3 body, D1 cock
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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