make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
