I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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