After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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