I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize