it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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