Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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