I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
