I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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