But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
