Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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