my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
