Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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