Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize