ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
