Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
