What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
