That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
