Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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