I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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