seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
