So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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