Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
