WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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