I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
ttyl tear gas
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
