let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
