Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
