Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
