It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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