He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
