So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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