Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
