is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Terrible idea I love it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize