Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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