They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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