i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
