We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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