We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
