I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i love accidental penises.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
