If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
