Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
