Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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