i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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